Regret
by Pianist707
Summary: Abby has to tell the news. The news of Matthew Morgan's disappearance and death. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, just a reflection on how Abby regrets...something.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Gallagher Girls series, only this fanfic. **

* * *

_Regret_

_Abigail "Abby" Cameron_

I curled up by the television, wrapping myself in a blue, fuzzy blanket. It's cold at this time, in my house. It held simple, furnished seven rooms; two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, the kitchen, the basement and attic where I hide away my personal belongings and classified material. This house was given after my joining of the CIA and a few achievements that made my name known. I'm by myself, watching a few soap operas, ranging from different languages.

The director himself gave me a leave of absence once I went on my mission of Buenos Aires due to the injuries I had. CIA-certified scar-removal cream helped me along the healing process, but I needed to be alone for a while, a few weeks to relax.

News spread like wildfire about the events with MI6 agent Edward Townsend. What we did there, something I did to save his life- I'm not explaining. There were a few embellishments, and eventually the story straightened itself out. So now I was in my house in Washington, surfing through soap operas. There's no reason why I watch them. The drama is amusing. Sometimes at times I wonder if a part of my life would be written in a book, in the most crucial moments. As if someone was lurking behind the scenes, capturing events.

I stepped into my slippers and went to the kitchen, and fished out a bag of chocolate chips and a glass of milk, and returned to the lone armchair. The Morgan family wasn't the only ones who crave sweets. The channel flicked on to a James Bond movie, where the main protagonist kicked a gun out of a villain's hand. Not to mention he was an actual spy, and personally, the director of the movie kept his true identity to himself. Even the spies in the CIA- mind the MI6 knew- doubted that he was a real operative.

The landline phone rang, and I grabbed it on the second ring. "Hello? This is Abigail."

"_Good morning, Abby! How's life?" _His signature question made me start laughing for a full minute. _"To tell you the truth, my life has certainly been great. Joe and I have been making good progress on the Circle." _I'm hyped in what he's explaining to me, because this very instant he was telling me something about the largest and most dangerous terrorist organization known to spy.

I lowered the volume of the channel and tightened the blanket, the phone pressed to my ear. "What did you find out?"

"_Well, in my expert opinion, your phone is vulnerable to being tapped into." _ I rolled my eyes, and chew on a cookie, feeling the sugar kick in. Rachel always told me to watch how much sugar I ate. And I told her, "It's not like anything bad involving a crazy search for me will happen in the future." But she only rolled her eyes. Not like there's a possibility it will happen. Well, back to the subject of Matthew and the Circle. _"I have so much information that could bring the Circle down. Imagine, Abby! We can bring down what the group that does all the horrible events they caused, to end this. I need some backup, though. I'm in Italy, can we rendezvous in Rome?"_

"That's great!" He was going to bring the Circle down! All of this would end, he said. Then I realized I can't come. My leg was in a bad splinter, and it was difficult to walk from the kitchen back to my sofa. I was in a bad condition. "I can't come, Matthew."

There's a sound of an ecstatic, highly-trained operative that deflated. _"Oh, never mind about that suggestion. Joe would have been able to come, it's just that the CIA director doesn't want anyone involved into this. I'm going solo on this one; and Abby, don't tell Rachel and Cammie about this. Please, I don't want them to worry; I'll come back as soon as I can." _Without waiting for my response, the end of the receiver went dead.

I hung the phone back on the wall and stare at the television. That pretty much tells me Matthew wanted to keep this secret from everyone else he loves. I'm fine with that; a person like me is trained to keep things classified. _I believe in him. Matthew can take down the Circle with the information he has, right?_

* * *

_Matthew Morgan is missing from his solo operation in Rome. _That simplified the horrors I'd heard from Joe's report. By then I was well and returned from a mission with the Baxters. So many bad things happening since the Circle started its revenge on Gillian Gallagher's sisters.

There were many people to tell. It meant Matthew's parents, friends, and relatives, only with a slight abridgement. I had to tell everyone. Joe didn't know, and his colleagues hadn't heard the news yet. I needed to tell Rachel.

Rachel wouldn't bear the news. She was taking care of her family, and telling her about her husband's disappearance, and she'll never know if he's dead or alive. Everyone could blame me. If I had come to help Matt in Rome, he wouldn't be gone. Either the Circle killed him or taken him as their prisoner. He knew too much.

I'd cried earlier, but telling them is not as worse than seeing the reaction. Especially Cammie was supposed to know what happened to her father. This was terrible…Rachel without her husband, her daughter fatherless.

_Tell them. They need to hear it from the first person._

_Run away. Give the blame on someone else. _Two suggestions screamed in my head. I'm insane, really. I want to get this over with. All of this end. I picked up the phone and dialed a number. Someone replied on another call, sounding happy and cheerful, and then I felt guilty. I regretted not helping. I should've come when I had the chance.

"_Abby? Is this you? I didn't hear you for awhile. Cammie's at school, so you can talk to her once she comes home."_

I lingered, waiting for anything, anything that could've prevented her from hearing my news. Maybe she'd close the phone. Maybe she wouldn't wait for an answer, and leave. Those were crazy ideas, and both wouldn't work. I didn't want to tell her now. A phone call didn't solve any problems.

"Rachel, can I visit for a day?"

* * *

Rachel agreed that I would arrive after Cammie left home for school. She still didn't know that Matt wasn't on his mission anymore, being _missing. _It was two days since that news. That he was MIA. I hated that term. It reminded me of all the files of missing operatives I found trying to discover and destroy the Circle. It was my fault.

_I should've done something._

I was parked in front of her house in Arlington, staring at the door I had to enter to tell my sister what happened. Ring the doorbell. Walk it and greet Rachel. Tell her the news. It was supposed to be easy; explain and be concerned. I locked the car and went up the steps, agonizing in what laid inside. The doorbell made a sweet chime. Why am I making observations on useless things? To prevent me from breaking inside.

There was a moment of silence, and I prayed that she'd forget. But no, it swung open, revealing Rachel. It was the smiling, happy Rachel, a victim who was going to be let in on the dreaded truth. "Abby, you're just in time." She shut the door as I stared at her house. I'd never been on the inside. Well furnished rooms with ornate furniture, a few messy piles of toys Cammie must've tinkered with. "So, what is it?"

That question scared me half to death, and I turned around to face her. "Rachel, he's gone." I spat out. I instantly regretted the confused expression from Rachel.

"Gone?" my sister tilted her head in wonder as she sank on the sofa, me following after. "Who's gone?"

I stared at her head-on. "Rachel, I'm so sorry. Matthew's MIA. He disappeared. Nowhere to be found. Gone."

She paused in the action of standing up. Strangely, she looked calm. Way at ease. _Why? _"I heard from Joe already. You didn't need to tell me again." Her smile was off, and she looked like she didn't want to bring the subject up. I couldn't help it; I started crying.

_I don't want to talk. She'll hate me if I tell her. Matthew could've lived if I had just come. But it's too late. _"Abby? What happened?" Rachel frowned, and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, letting her younger sister bawl her eyes out.

"_NO_!" I shouted, and she was startled, and I spoke softer. "No. It's my fault he's gone." It was barely a whisper.

"Why?"

"He called me in Rome a month ago, telling me to meet him and bring down the Circle together. He'd live, if I went to help."

"He didn't tell me?"

"Matt didn't want to make you worry. He said you were happy."

"You don't need to work yourself up." Rachel said.

"_I'M NOT WORKING MYSELF UP!" _I exploded, but she only hugged me tighter as the tears went from a slender river to a roaring waterfall. I pulled away from her. "_IT'S MY FAULT! HE COULD BE DEAD, OR CAPTURED BY THE CIRCLE!"_

Once again she hugged me, and I didn't protest. It was the job for one sister to cry, the other to comfort. _"_It's my fault. I should've been there." I reduced my sobbing to sniffles, when I remembered the horrible revelation. "We have to tell Cammie."

"I know."

"She needs to know…" I said, tired.

"Abby…"

"Yeah?"

"We're having a funeral in Nebraska, with Matthew's parents." I stared into her dark eyes. "It's not for me; his parents. They won't know the real truth, and I think Matt's alive, somewhere." She added quietly.

I panicked. I didn't want to see Cammie. She couldn't see her aunt the blame of Matt. "I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going." I repeated.

"Why not?" She said, genuinely surprised.

"I just don't want to see Cammie. I need to get away for awhile. I want to be alone." I hesitated when I saw the look on Rachel's face. It wasn't anger or disappointment, just shock. "I'll go now."

And then I left.

* * *

**This needed to get out of my head, and I typed it on the spot. Abby either sounds very upset or angry by what happened to Matthew. **


	2. Chapter 2

**The second chapter of Regret.**

* * *

_Regret_

_Chapter Two_

_Abigail "Abby" Cameron_

"If you'd like, I can come inside and help…" Ed said, grasping my hand tightly into his own.

"No." I shook my head. "I'll tell her." I climbed out of car and faced the door of the Gallagher Academy. I'd told Rachel about Matt's disappearance, now I had to tell her of his death. We trailed up the steps with a purpose, to bring the bad news.

_"Cammie!" _Liz Sutton burst from the doors. She stared at Cammie, smiling so bright it was infectious. I couldn't though; I still remembered the conversation I had with Matt years ago. Rachel and I had thought he was somewhere, hiding. He was killed by the Circle. And now I had to tell her, since she was the only who didn't know. "It's Mr. Solomon! Mr. Solomon's awake!" Liz's shout knocked me out of my stupor.

_Joe? _I followed Cammie to the secret room, and she stopped, petrified to enter Joe's secret room. "Mr. Solomon!" Bex Baxter pushed passed my niece, followed by Macey McHenry. I stood next to her, hand on her shoulder. Something told us both to stay put, to stare at my older sister.

"Hi, girls," Rachel smiled, exchanging beaming looks to Cammie and I. She held Joe's hands in her own. "Look who's up."

I wanted to be happy. I could be anything but that at this moment, because Cammie and I both exchanged horrified looks. We had to break the happy celebration and turn it into a tragedy.

"Welcome back, ladies." Joe's voice was hoarse, and it told me it was true. He was _alive. _He was healthy, speaking, breathing. Rachel gave him a sip of water, and he smiled at her, coughing at exerting much effort.

"Joe!" Zach Goode cried, moving through Cammie to join his side. "Joe…" He stopped. He gave the look when a son reunited with a father, after losing each other, one who could've died.

"Well, Rachel, the standards in this place must be dropping. I go to sleep and they start letting just anyone in here," he coughed once again of the effort. It felt stuffy, with people who knew and those who didn't.

I felt the dirt and blood caked in my fingers as my sister said, "Cam, Abby, _Joe's awake,_" Rachel said, still smiling; only slightly turning upside-down. Of course, she was confused. Liz and Joe didn't know. Ed had already driven away, so I was the only adult to tell the events. Those _dreaded _events. Now my sister was a widow, and Cammie was half-close to being an orphan. Why can't I be a good aunt?

"Yes. Of course," I said finally, thanking my mouth that my voice didn't crack. But it betrayed me as I said, "We missed you so much." Joe frowned as he looked at me square in the eyes. I had to tell the two people Matt loved now, mind Liz, a student who hadn't met that amazing man.

She scrutinized the machines before facing us, smile plastered to her face. I'd hate to wipe it off…"The brain scans and EEGs are really good." She glanced at Joe. "You look really good." Of course! Physically well…he won't be mentally.

"Thank you, Ms. Sutton."

"You do," Rachel leaned closer to my friend and former crush. "You look perfect." I was deteriorating inside, panicking. It was coming down to the question.

"So, what did I miss?"

I swept my gaze across the room, looking at all those beaming faces. _It's my fault. _My heart screamed, and I couldn't help but agree with myself. I shook as saw Rachel trying to understand something she didn't know quite yet. "What is it?" Rachel asked. The din of silence was terrifying. Cammie couldn't bear it; she turned away and left, and I let my hand fall to my side.

"Rachel," I paused, as I saw Zach followed after my niece, "We need to talk."

Immediately, the smile dropped off her face. "What did you find?"

"I found nothing but the truth." I replied, walking into the room and shutting the door to discourage any listeners. "And it's bad.

"What happened?" I remembered Joe and Liz was in the room, uncertain what I was talking about. Mincing words wouldn't help at all, so I spat it out. "Cammie and I found Matthew's journal, and then she was nearly compromised by Circle agents."

Reactions: Liz gapping; Rachel and Joe blinking. Bex and Macey only stayed silently, wordlessly urging me to go on. "She escaped with Ambassador Winters-"

"Why was he there?" Liz blurted out.

"Over the summer, when Cammie went inside a secret base, she told him about the Circle, everything, including she was a spy." Bex answered, and we glanced at Rachel. So far she was handling it well.

"We found a safe house of the Circle, and Cammie told us by memory how to get there. We went inside, and it was…safe." That was all I could describe until the moment I saw the grave. "Cammie freaked once she saw the initials of Matthew and hers, and she went outside to this grave. It belonged to Matthew's, Rachel. He was _killed._" I swallowed.

_Rachel, he's gone._

_Gone? Who's gone?_

_Rachel, I'm so sorry. Matthew's MIA. He disappeared. Nowhere to be found. Gone._

Those were lies no, we'd learned the fact, saw the truth, and I told the evidence that Matt's dead. "_I'm so sorry." _I whispered. Subconsciously, I had sat next to Rachel. She is an official widow, and Cammie's an official daughter without a father. He wasn't there for her since she was twelve, not even when she was seventeen.

I looked at everyone again, and a pain in my stomach hurt. Liz's face was pale, and Joe looked taken aback. He should be; he has been out for half a year before he woke up to the truth his best friend was death. Bex and Macey comforted Liz as I tried to pull out adjectives from Rachel. There were already tears streaming down her face; silent tears. "Oh, that's alright. Thank you, Abby." Her voice cracked.

"At least we now know he's gone. The Circle might've tortured him since he knew too much." _He knew too much._ Joe was one of the highly-trained operatives I've known for a lifetime, but it was still shocking to hear him sound…miserable. "You know where the body is?"

"Of course; there will be a funeral at Langley. Everyone will come." I answered, taking my turn to hug Rachel. Her tough exterior was breaking, and it was my turn to reassure her. "Don't worry; you're not alone." I pulled my older sister at arm's length. "Everyone knows now that he doesn't suffer being away from his wife and daughter. Today his pain ceases."

* * *

**I'm a horrible tragedy writer, right? Well, I'm just a simpleton fanfic writer trying to enjoy her life rereading books. If the sixth and last book is published, I might conclude whether or not the third chapter is about Matthew Morgan is alive or not. Please review, I'd like critics without flames. I don't have a bucket of water.**


End file.
